Thursday, June 26, 2014

Resistance is Futile

Time’s Arrow Part II – S6E1

Technology's Double Arrow


Personal Log


After a lapse in writing because I think it’s not good enough for geeks, I have decided that the links I make from Star Trek to psychology are pretty cool, or should I say sweet. And any geek who has struggled with relationships, improving their social life, or wondered what to do about those so called pesky emotions will be able to use the brilliant dialogue in Star Trek to become more adept at traversing life’s challenges within and without.
So, once more, I make my “Earl Grey, hot” and sit down to write. I put on my Pink Beach Mix downtempo mix and it begins with Rapino Brothers – Go Ahead London, which begins with Picard’s voice saying “Engage.” How cool is that! I didn’t plan it.


Synopsis


Part I and II of this episode gives us a biographical glimpse into the character Samuel Clemens (yes, Mark Twain, the writer). He is brought aboard the enterprise and escorted to his quarters by Counsellor Troi. As they amble along a corridor and enter the turbo-lift, an interesting conversation about technology ensues:

Clemens: Any place that doesn’t stock a good cigar doesn’t rank high in my book.
Troi: If you must have one, I’m sure we can replicate one for you.
Clemens: Oh. If you think that one of these imitations take the place of a hand-wrapped Cavana. Uh-uh.
Troi: I wouldn’t know.
Clemens: Well that’s the problem I see here. All this technology only serves to take away life’s simple pleasures. You don’t even let a man open a door for a lady.
Troi: I think what we’ve gained far outweighs anything that might have been lost.

The Double Arrow


Troi brings a refreshing perspective to the consequences of the advancements of technology to earth. 
Although I recognize how technology, especially cell phones and video games (gasp!) can reduce the opportunity for 'simple pleasures' and also deeper social connection with others, I am tired of hearing about it like the whole thing is bad. It isn’t. 

All changes bring new things in and leave other things behind. Sure enough, technology changes the 'system' of the way we do things and there may be “unintended consequences” (Senge, 2006), but we, as a species, are quite capable of ‘adapting’ and becoming more pro-active in choosing how and when we use various forms of technology. We do have a choice. And a brain. We can use technology in a way that enhances our lives and development on this planet including deeper social connections.

For example, I saw Jane McGonigal, PhD., a world-reowned game designer present at the 2009 World Congress in Positive Psychology. She spoke of research, developments, and a new games in the game world that are designed to "improve real lives and solve real problems" Her #1 goal in life is to see a game developer win a Nobel Peace Prize and she is a best-selling author (McGonigal, 2011). Now that's what I call positive computing. So, you see, we can have fun with games and use them to improve our lot in life.

We geeks probably have the upper hand on technology and all the different opportunities to do things we couldn't do before because of it. It's fun and it's brilliant. Collaborative research projects can take place with two scientists on opposite sides of the world. Education can be taught online thereby making it possible to people who might otherwise not have the opportunity. We can process our psychological states through alter-egos in the form of Avatars and build communities of people that relate to each other via MMORPG's. We can connect with others via smartphones and social media like never before. We still want to connect. This is just a different way to do it.

Relating face-to-face and using technology is an and/and proposition. Technology is relatively new to our species and we are just figuring out how to integrate it with the in-person and in-nature things of life. And yes, we use it for escape and procrastination and in ways that do not optimize our well-being. But we have been doing that for centuries. And we can choose to use it make positive contributions to our lives and our world. The choice is ours. Technology is here to stay and "resistance is futile".

Engage!


So... What one thing would you do to use technology in a more positive way? Be sure to post in the comments box. I would love to hear the variations, no matter how small or how large.How would you like to 'adapt'?

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McGonigal, J. (2011). Reality is broken: Why games make us better and how they can change the world. Penguin Press.

Senge, P. M. (2006). The fifth discipline: The art and practice of the learning organization. New York: Doubleday/Currency.




Saturday, June 21, 2014

Ubuntu

Loneliness and Friendship

I-Borg - S5E23


This episode of ST explores a dilemma of what to do with an injured cybernetic being, part of a collective known as the Borg that threatens to assimilate other species. However, what I found more interesting is the dialogue that unfolded between this one Borg and various members of the crew on what it meant to be an individual, in contrast to being part of a collective. As the Borg becomes aware of himself as an individual, he exhibits curiosity and starts asking what it is to be human.

The injured Borg is taken aboard the Enterprise where Dr. Crusher works on healing his injuries and Geordi, the Chief Engineer repairs his damaged implants and creates a feeding device. As the Borg regains consciousness, he announces the famous Borg lines in their typical monotone mechanical voice, “We are Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.” As his individuality reasserts itself, he begins to exhibit curiosity. He starts in response to the power conduit for nutrients by saying, “Why do you do this? You are not Borg.” 

Geordi asks to take a closer look at Hugh’s eye implant (They named him "Hugh"). Hugh gives it to him, announcing, “When you are assimilated, you will have a similar device.”
Beverly responds, “Hugh, do you understand? We don’t want to be assimilated. “
Hugh, looking puzzled responds, “Why do you resist us?”
Beverly says, “Because we don’t want to live the way you do.”
Then Hugh still looking perplexed responds, “Here, it is quiet. There are no other voices. On a Borg ship, we live with the thoughts of the others in our minds, thousands of voices with us always.”
The doctor says, “I think what you’re saying is that you’re lonely.”

In another scene, Guinan, whose race has almost been destroyed by the Borg, goes to visit Hugh and has a conversation with him and explains, “Resistance is not futile.” She continues in an angry tone to say that there are very few of her kind left, scattered throughout the galaxy. Hugh responds, “What you are saying is that you are lonely. You have no others. You have no home. We are also lonely.” Guinan looks shocked at Hugh’s observation.

In the next scene, we find ourselves with Geordi and Hugh. Geordi is looking at Hugh’s prosthetic arm. Hugh asks why. Geordi says, “Because. You’re different than we are. Part of what we do is learn more about other species.” Hugh responds, “We assimilate species. Then we know everything about them. Is that not easier?” Geordi says, “Maybe it is. It’s just not what we do.” Again, Hugh asks why. At this point, Geordi launches into a rather heated explanation where he points out that Hugh speaks using the word “we” and that he (Hugh) doesn’t even know how to think of himself as a single individual. Geordi continues by pointing out that they (referring to humans) are separate individuals. “I am Geordi. I choose what I want to do with my life. I make decisions for myself. For me, losing that sense of individuality is almost worse than dying.” Hugh says, “When you sleep, there are no other voices in your mind.” Geordi says, “No.” Hugh says, “Are you ever lonely?” Geordi responds, “Sometimes. But that’s why we have friends.” Hugh says quizzically, “Friends.” Geordi says, “Sure. Someone you can talk to, who will be with you when you are lonely. Someone who makes you feel better…” Hugh says, “Like Geordi… and Hugh.”

The ‘message’ in loneliness


Hugh inspires us to reflect about two elements of our human condition: the experience of loneliness and the need for friendship and connection with others. It is contrasted with a distasteful version of being “assimilated” against our will, much like having to sacrifice your individuality to conform to family or societal codes. Sometimes, we need to be alone. Sometimes, we need to be with people. Autonomy and connection are two basic human needs (Sheldon, K. 2004).

When we are alone and we need to be with other people but are not, it is experienced as loneliness. Hugh discovers that the key to not being lonely is in friendship. Perhaps the message in loneliness is that we are being reminded to cultivate and maintain our friendships.

Ubuntu is a concept originating in Africa that reminds us that our vitality comes alive in the sharing of humanity in the presence of others. I am because you are. It is about something larger than ourselves, about belonging and participating in the human race.

Whether we are geeking out on technology or trivia, we may experience loneliness. This loneliness is a reminder, a message that we all have an innate need to belong to larger communities of people, of 'engaging' with others, whether it be other geek communities or all of humanity or both. Ubuntu is a unifying principle that nourishes us and our communities. You are valuable and will not be assimilated!

Engage!


One of the most robust indicators of high emotional well-being (EWB) is strong social network of family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, and community (Diener & Biswas-Diener, 2008). It is an outcome of Ubuntu. Where would you like to be involved more in the human race? When you do this, what happens to your loneliness? Want to be more involved? Make it so!

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Diener, E. & Biswas-Diener, R. (2008). Happiness: Unlocking the mysteries of psychological wealth. Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishing.

Sheldon, K. M. (2004). Optimal human being: an integrated multi-level perspective. Mahwah, N.J.: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

I Win, You Lose or...

The environment always wins
Transfigurations – S3E25


This is the Part II commentary from the previous post. Continuing with this episode John Doe, who was experiencing a metamorphosis from a physical to energetic being removed himself from a hostile environment in order to create an environment that allowed him to complete his transformation. It reminds me of a coaching course in designing winning environments which goes on to explain "The Nine Environments of You" created by the late Thomas Leonard, founder of Coachville. The philosophy is, "The environment always wins." This is an important concept used in coaching and I personally have experienced the benefits of applying this concept in my daily life. It can be rather, um, well, transformative.

The evil environment


Nowhere is the importance of the environment better illustrated than in the 1971 Stanford Experiment where good people turn evil. This was a study to see what happens when college students agreed to play the role of guard or inmate for two weeks in a prison. The guards became so violent the experiment had to be aborted after six days. It seems like an odd topic for a 'positive psychology' conference in 2009 but was actually transformative in that it showed up how we could also create positive environments.

In our game culture, most games are set up as a form of competition. Winners and losers. Or, if it's a cooperative game, it's boring. Yet blindly following competition as a way of life does NOT bring out the best in us or our planet. So, what's the solution? Well. There's a third way of looking at it. And that is to create a winning environment. It starts with our inner environment and can also be applied to a global environment. I'm using the word 'environment' in a different way than the 'saving the planet' concept. Yet, if we following this new model, the latter would follow. It’s an interesting concept portrayed in Star Trek that has far-reaching implications in our own lives.

Make your own rules


For example, who do you hang out with? How do they make you feel? What kind of cafes do you go to? Who is your dentist? How easy is it to work in your kitchen? What is in your fridge and cupboard that supports you to eat well? What kind of thoughts do you think? What news do you take in? From where? Facebook? CNN? What magazines do you read? Get my drift? How would you like to feel? And how would you change your activities? In short, what would you do differently to create a winning environment for you?

If life is a game, then this is one of the cardinal rules of living an optimal life. Design winning environments – environments that support you, inspire you and nurture you. This is the catapult to true, sustainable transformation. John Doe knew he had to get away from a hostile environment to one that would support him in his transformation.

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To learn more about the Stanford experiment go to www.thelucifereffect.com
To learn more about creating winning environments go to www.coachville.com/home/html/personal_environments_method

Here are the nine environments identified by Thomas Leonard:

1. Memetic (Ideas)
2. Financial
3. Relationship (friends, family, colleagues)
4. Network (connections, community, social)
5. Physical (places, things)
6. Body (energy, appearance)
7. Self (strengths, talents, character)
8. Spiritual (deep connections, sacred spaces)
9. Nature.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Your Alter Avatar

The Architecture of Transformation
Transfigurations – S3E25



This episode begins by finding an injured, unconscious humanoid crashed in a one-man spaceship on a planet nearby. In sickbay, Dr. Beverly Crusher works to repair the humanoid’s injuries and retrain his limbs to move and walk. When he regains consciousness, he cannot remember who he is. They refer to him as John Doe. His healing and cell regeneration takes place at an accelerated pace and Dr. Crusher also notices another cell transfiguration happening in his body that has nothing to do with his healing. At one point, the transporter chief comes in with a dislocated shoulder and John Doe touches the shoulder and it is completely healed.

Later, the Enterprise locates his home planet and brings aboard Captain Sunad who says, “Kill him, Captain. He’s evil.”
John Doe replies, “You could learn from these people, Sunad. They don’t fear me.” 
Sunad responds, “They don’t know how dangerous you are and the others like you.” 
John Doe: “That is what you and the others like you have maintained for generations. It’s not true. Captain. My species is on the verge of a wondrous evolutionary change. A transmutation beyond their physical being. I am the first of my kind to approach this metamorphosis. They tried to convince us it was a sickness we would never survive. The pain and energy pulses would kill us. They claimed we were dangerous so they destroyed anyone who exhibited the signs of the transfiguration.”
Sunad: “We were protecting our society.”
John Doe: “By murdering us? You saw the mutations as a threat to your authority. You were horrified of something you couldn’t understand. Some suspected what was happening to them was not evil. … You hunted us down. But I survived. With the help of kind, generous people.”

Diversity or Division?



What if this is a metaphor for humanity? What if we are on the cusp of a wondrous, evolutionary change? That we are a noble creature and are evolving to a higher level of being? If that was our world view, how would things be different? For us individually and for the planet as a whole?

Which would you rather have? What are the consequences in a society where viewing others that are different from ourselves (U.S. vs Arabs, White vs. Black, Women vs. Men, Rich vs. Poor) as 'the bad guy'? Our view has a great deal to do with the outcome.

This episode contrasts the accepting and cooperative nature of humans on the Enterprise with the unaccepting and condemning nature of the Zarkonian people. It is a metaphor for the different sides and viewpoints of ourselves, as individuals, communities, and countries. Star Trek portrays a vision of a humanity that is evolving towards living in harmony with our differences. And by celebrating our differences, we bring each person's gifts into creating a better world for everyone on the planet. The real question is: What can each of us do now to transform and transcend? Not the other guy. You.

I think Star Trek has it right.

So what would you like your Alter-Avatar to be? Leave a comment. We could get some interesting Alter-avatars here.

And look for Part II of this episode in the next post.

Until then, Johanna


Sunday, June 15, 2014

How to Train your (Inner) Dragon

Resilience Training

Loud As A Whisper – S2E5


This is the third installment on the "Loud as a Whisper" episode. The first one (see below) is titled "To be or not to be". The second one is titled "One for all and all for one". And this one deals with Riva losing his Chorus of telepaths and left to communicate on his own, unable to hear or speak.

As a recap:
The Enterprise is responsible for transporting Riva, a mediator who was asked to help bring peace to two warring factions of the planet, Solais V. Riva is deaf and mute, a condition that is not considered a defect on his planet. In order to communicate, he has three other people by his side (two male, one female), telepathically connected to him, and can ‘hear’ his thoughts and emotions. When he loses his chorus that speaks for him, he is left with the challenge of turning this disadvantage into an advantage. It shows him going through the stages of bewilderment, self-recrimination and finally challenged by Counsellor Troi of walking his talk, of turning his new disadvantage into advantage. This is an optimistic framework whereby we can create positive outcomes and opportunities. The
research in positive psychology and resilience literature suggests that people who bounce back faster from adversity are the ones who can see some positive meaning coming from their misfortunes (Tedeschi et al, 1998). In fact, one of the differences between soldiers who experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and those who do not is their finding some positive meaning in their experience.

However, it is still prudent to allow yourself time to come to terms with what has befallen you, to allow yourself to have the emotional processes necessary to move through it. Then and ONLY THEN will you be ready to train your inner dragon.

Resilience training involves many more elements; however, this 'blessing in disguise' is one of the variables that separate the resilient from not-so-resilient. It is a skill that can be practiced whenever you need it to help you bounce back from a negative event. 

Engage!


How have you been challenged with adversity? How have you trained your inner dragon? Share your story in the comments below. I would love to hear from you and it would benefit others.

How do you train your inner dragon of bewilderment, anger, resentment, devastation, depression, anxiety or other mental challenges to become an advantage for you?

Some of us have experienced large adversities from family of origin issues of emotional neglect, abuse, violence, trauma or other life situations such as losing a child, broken relationships. Some of our adverse occurrences are smaller and good practice ground for the bigger stuff.

Recall a situation (start with a smaller one) that still isn't resolved. What’s the advantage in your disadvantage? Make a list of the advantages. What feels different now?

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Tedeschi, R. G., Tedeschi, R. G., Park, C. L., & Calhoun, L. G. (Eds.). (1998). Posttraumatic growth: Positive changes in the aftermath of crisis. Routledge.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

One for all and All for one!

Dissolving Differences
Loud As A Whisper – S2E5


When the two warring factions demand to hear from Riva, he opens from the bridge of the Enterprise with, “Brothers. Your bravery as fighters is known. Now you must demonstrate courage in a new way. Cease hostilities. Allow us to meet.”

At his first visit on the planet it starts off with the woman in the chorus: “Be at ease. I commend you both. To come here proves not only your courage, but your wisdom. Please. Give this conference a chance.”

Spoken by the man representing logic: “I have no magic. You have been fighting all your lives. You have known only…”

At this point, one of the factions gets ready to fire. Riker pushes Riva out of the way and his chorus gets killed. They return to the Enterprise. Riva becomes distraught and withdrawn. When the doctor and counsellor report on Riva’s state to the Captain, Deanna (the counsellor) says, “Confidence is faith in oneself. It can’t easily be given by another.” 

The Captain asks Data to find and learn Riva’s sign language so they can communicate with Riva. The Captain tries to convince Riva to return to negotiations. He refuses. The Captain asks Deanna to continue negotiations. Deanna asks Riva, “When dealing with two factions so diametrically opposed, so entrenched in their positions, where do you start?”

Riva: “My technique was to look for some thing, no matter how small, that was common to both groups, and then, to begin a process where one person, where one group expresses themselves to each other… What is even more difficult is to get each side to listen, really listen, to each other, and to understand. The real secret is turning disadvantage into advantage.” 

Deanna responds to Riva's position without his chorus, “Why can’t you do that? Why can’t you turn your disadvantage into an advantage?”

Strategies on successful communication


Both parties wanted to come to a state of peace. Implied here is a pre-requisite that they are willing, motivated. Secondly, Riva shared the secret of successful communication. When there is conflict, the key to harmony is to draw attention to something common to each. And the third element would be to listen, really listen. Bushe (2010), leadership professor and consultant, refers to this as active listening and defines it as “the ability to understand the meaning of what a person is saying and to communicate that understanding to the person” (p. 192). This point, alone, takes effort to master. Have you ever truly listened to another without thinking ahead about what you will say or interjecting, advising, how they should think about it differently, or telling your own story? How hard can it be? Um. Yeah. Hard. But the benefits are worth it.

Engage!


Make a commitment to yourself that today you will listen, truly listen to someone for five minutes. What changes for you? What happens for you when you apply this to your next conversation?

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Bushe, G. R. (2009). Clear leadership: Sustaining real collaboration and partnership at work. (Rev. Ed.). Mountain View, Calif.: Davies-Black Pub.. p. 192.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

To be or not to be...

The Value of Self-Acceptance
Loud As A Whisper – S2E5


The Archetypal Mirror


The Enterprise is responsible for transporting Riva, a mediator who was asked to help bring peace to two warring factions of the planet, Solais V. Riva is deaf and mute, a condition that is not considered a defect on his planet. In order to communicate, he has three other people by his side (two male, one female), telepathically connected to him, and can ‘hear’ his thoughts and emotions. 

The first (male) of the three speaks: “We convey not only his thoughts but his emotional intent as well. I am a scholar. I represent the intellect and speak in matters of judgment, philosophy, logic. Also, I am the dreamer, the part that longs to see the beauty beyond the truth, which is always the first duty of art. I am the poet…”

The next person (male) speaks: “I am passion, the libido, I am the anarchy of lust the romantic and the lover. I am also the warrior the perfect line which never wavers.” 

The third person (female) speaks: “I am that which binds all the others together. I am harmony, wisdom, balance.”

About twelve minutes into the episode, there is a dialogue between Riva and Geordi, the Chief Engineer that further demonstrates acceptance of aspects of ourselves we might not normally accept. Riva is inquiring about Geordi’s visor that allows him to see. The dialogue goes like this: 

Riva: “Then your visor serves the same function as my chorus? Interprets my thoughts and translates them into sound?” 
Geordi: “Yes.”
Riva: “And you don’t resent it?”
Geordi: “The visor or being blind?”
Riva: “Either.”
Geordi: “Well, no. Since they’re both a part of me and I really like who I am, there’s no reason for me to resent either one.”
The female of the chorus comments for Riva: “It’s a blessing to understand that we are special. Each in our own way.”
Geordi enthusiastically agrees, “Yes. Yes. That’s the way I feel exactly.”

Finding the self’s source code


We each have different facets that make us human, including facets that we might consider flaws. All of them are valuable. In order to experience wholeness, self-acceptance also applies to emotions. Traditional psychology has leaked into our culture with the view that negative emotions (sometimes even positive ones), quirks in our personalities, and behaviour outside the norm are some sort of pathology. We come to view ourselves based on the illness model. A truer view may be that emotions are normal, human responses to aspects of life.  Culture downplays the emotional facets of ourselves. Yet emotion plays a crucial role in being a whole person. And by honoring the emotional parts of ourselves, we incorporate a wholeness that elevates us to the next level. I have seen many a client become happier when they are able to honor the messages in their emotions.

That’s what I like about geeks. We like something outside the norm and learn about it and become good at it. We follow what interests us. Be damned what others think! Good for us!

Yet, geeks are also influenced and part of culture. So, let’s take it one step further. My gut feeling is that geeks push emotions aside. But what if emotions are our inner compass? What if they are our source code? And lead us down (or up) the path of the inner terrain with discoveries hitherto unknown? Like the self-acceptance that Geordi talks about. He is blind and he has a visor. They are both part of him. Self-acceptance at its finest. And so it is with us. Our emotions are part of the whole of us, worthy of our self-acceptance and the recognition that they are part of the human condition, not a flaw.

Lest you be turning your nose up at emotions, consider this. Studies have shown that patients who have tumors removed that destroy their ability to have feelings, become unable to live a normal life. They cannot make good decisions that affect their career, family, and where to live as well as smaller daily decisions. So, what is going on here? 

According to neurologist Damasio, the “somatic markers” (Goleman, 1995) that assist us in making decisions from mind and gut are missing. When we operate in a computerlike fashion, we are missing one half of our reasoning faculties. Both are critical to problem-solving. So, before we regard emotions as a pain in the ass, something to be set aside, let’s instead experiment with the notion of accepting them as part of the whole and become curious about what information they have for us.

They are part of our source code.

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Goleman, D. (1997). Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. New York: Bantam.

Faith in Humanity Restored

Creating the Vision
Encounter at Farpoint – S1E1&2


The Mission


This episode is the beginning of the first season of the new Star Trek Series known as The Next Generation (TNG), originally aired from 1987 to 1994. It develops the new characters in the episode and begins with a visit from an omnipotent being known as “Q” who accuses the crew onboard the Enterprise as being a savage race. Q decides they must be tried in a post-apocalyptic court where they may be sentenced to death. Domt, Domt, Daaaa...

It is decided that they will be given a chance to prove that their race has changed.

In Part II, the crew encounter a civilization that has vast energy reserves, but it becomes evident that something seems not quite right. The energy is being derived from the capture of a sentient being capable of transferring energy into matter. The crew of the Enterprise free the being from its capture and then it becomes re-united with its mate and the energy of pain emanating from the being is transformed to one of joy. Through this act of freeing a feeling entity, the crew of the Enterprise have provided evidence to Q that they are no longer a savage race and are capable of great acts of compassion and kindness. 

A positive vision of humanity


In this episode, TNG starts with an uplifting social commentary on the progress of humankind. We, as a species, are making progress from being a savage race toward one that is capable of acts of empathy and compassion. And this is not science fiction.

There is a large global trend forming to bring compassion into all of our endeavours from the individual to the level of communities, corporations and governments. ST starts the TNG series by creating a positive vision of our capacity, progress, and our future. And the future is now.

Friday, June 6, 2014

Do You Feel Like I Feel?

The Power of Empathy
Data’s Day – S4E11


In this episode, Data struggles with trying to predict human responses and reactions. He uses logic to predict and logic fails! This episode is an excellent portrayal of what happens when reason is used without emotion.

Data starts by creating a personal log  transmitted to Commander Bruce Maddux at the Daystrom Institute1: Dear Commander Maddux. ...I found it difficult to maintain friendships since human emotions are often puzzling to me. Eventually, I developed a program enabling me to predict human emotional responses to specific actions.

Data proceeds with an interaction with his friend, Keiko who is marrying Chief O’Brien.
Data: “It is time for the wedding rehearsal.”
Keiko: “I know, Data, I’ve decided not to go through with it.”
Data: “You do not wish to rehearse?”
Keiko: “No, I’m calling off the wedding.”
Data: “May I ask why?”
Keiko: “It’s just the right thing to do.”
Data: “Have your feelings for Chief O’Brien changed?”
Keiko: (Sigh). “I’m supposed to be getting married, Data. I should be happy, but I’m not. This weight pressing down on me.”
Data: “Will cancelling the wedding make you happy?”
Keiko: “Yes, he’ll probably be just as relieved as I am.
Data’s personal log: My friend, Chief O’Brien often says that above all else, he wants to make Keiko happy. Since cancelling the wedding will make her happy, I must conclude that Chief will be pleased with her decision.
Oh. We can see where this is going. In the next scene, we see Data speaking to Chief O’Brien: “I have good news. Keiko has made a decision designed to increase her happiness. She has cancelled the wedding.”
Chief O’Brien: “She what?! Cancelled the wedding? Today? Without a word? Of all the childish, selfish, irresponsible things to do!”
Chief O’Brien storms out of ten forward.
Geordi: “Next time, maybe I should deliver the good news.”
Data’s personal log: Commander Maddux, it would appear that my program designed to predict emotional responses is in need of adjustment.
Where is your ‘program’ in need of adjustment?

Empathy


It seems to me that even us humans are in Data’s boat, trying to predict human responses and reactions and being surprised by them. Although the word empathy is not used in this episode, it is the emotional intelligence competency (EIC) in ourselves that helps us understand and predict another person’s emotional responses. Empathy is “the ability to be aware of, to understand and to appreciate the feelings and thoughts of others” (Stein & Book, 2000, p. 111).

The research on this competency indicates the benefits of empathy includes better relationships, with yourself and others (Goleman, 1997, p. 97). It is a skill that can be taught; even in 45 minutes performance can improve on an empathy skill test (Goleman, 1997, p. 97). Without it, relationships suffer. Misunderstandings abound as we see in this episode. And smooth relationships are difficult to obtain. Data is onto something here. And it starts with empathy for ourselves.

Engage!


When was the last time you judged yourself harshly? If you are like most people, I suspect it was in the last hour or day. It can be subtle and almost slip underneath your conscious threshold. For example, you may have had the desire to take the day off from your normal duties or “have to’s” whether it be homework, practicing the cello (yep. that’s me) or a work or home task. And then you may think, Oh. I’m so lazy. or I always procrastinate. Just below conscious threshold. But there it is. And it ever-so-slightly erodes a healthy self-regard.

How about replacing that with a more empathic approach such as It feels like I need a break or Maybe I’m feeling overwhelmed by this task and need to break it into smaller chunks or What do I need? That would be a more self-empathic approach. Does that feel more relaxing?

Now you can transfer this small example of empathy to your relationship with another person. Even if it is a casual conversation with an acquaintance you meet on the street or a conversation you’re having vis SMS or FB. Convey that you hear and accept the deeper messages in what they are saying. This is the practice. This is the practice. This is the practice. So... are you game? A new frontier to develop. Even you can be more empathic like Counsellor Troi! Who knew! See what happens. Boldly go.

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Goleman, D. (1997). Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. New York: Bantam.

Stein, S. & Book. H. (2000). The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and Your Success. Mississauga, Ont.: Jossey-Bass.

1There is a ST technical library online that is known as the Daystrom Institute Technical Library. It has all things Star Trek and displays like a monitor on the Bridge of the Enterprise. Take a look. www.ditl.org

Emotional Intelligence as the Final Frontier...

Introduction

Space… the Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before.

This is the beginning narration of Star Trek, The Next Generation (TNG). The Original Series (TOS) started in 1966 and those words are still used in the new movies of 2011 and 2013, 47 years later! Amazing for a TV series that was originally pulled off the air three short years after it began. 

It was created by Gene Roddenberry; a man of great vision for the future of this world, and, in my opinion, a vision that humankind can and is turning into a reality now. He was the first producer of a TV series to show men and women and different races working together in equality and harmony on the bridge of the Enterprise. He also took the game of money off the tabletop. Then he gave everyone a common goal, “to explore strange new worlds”. This had never been done before on TV. It was a bold move, to give women equal standing to men, and portray white and dark races working together, and remove the elements of wealth and poverty, especially in 1966. Science fiction indeed!

What began in with Star Trek, The Original Series (TOS) 1966-1969 has now continued with seven years of The Next Generation (TNG) 1987-1994, six years of Deep Space Nine (DSN) 1993-1999, six years of Voyager (VOY) 1995-2001, and four years of Enterprise (ENT) 2001-2005. In addition to the aforementioned five different series, it has spawned twelve movies, six from TOS, four from TNG, and two relatively new ones (20011, 2013) starting the story anew from the beginning. The cycle continues. The next generation (ha, ha, no pun intended) is also captivated.

Over the years Star Trek has developed an avid fan base, spawned documentaries, websites, trivia, comic books, a prominent profile at Comic-Con Conventions, other science fiction conventions, novels, video games, animated series, and now, of course, all kinds of social media apps and gadgets.

There are many books that explore the concepts in Star Trek, the physics of the gadgets that seem like science fiction but are now closer to reality than sci-fi. There are books that explore the quantum physics concepts about particles or waves, about temporal flux, about wormholes and other phenomena. Some of Star Trek invented gadgets that are now coming into existence. Some of Star Trek explored new concepts in science. Yet, what I haven’t seen explored in much detail is the psychology of Star Trek.

I have been a Trekkie since 1966. I remember having fights with my parents because it would air around suppertime and they couldn’t get me to come to the dinner table. I enjoyed the mystery and the pace and the gadgets and the concepts, but what captivated me more was the dialogue. The dialogue explored philosophies to live your life by, facets of what it was to be a human being, morality and dilemmas, a social commentary on culture, the psychology of how to manage your own personal challenges, and the process of creating successful connections with others. This was what fascinated me. I used it as guidance in my own life, as a teenager.

And now? I am a Positive Psychology and Emotional Intelligence Coach. A what? And a what? Okay. Pause. Rewind. Positive Psychology is the study of what enables human beings, institutions (of human beings), and communities (of human beings) to thrive. Emotional Intelligence is a set of competencies to recognize, manage, and express your emotions so they don’t come back to bite you. And I created a model on how to do that and published a book about it. With undergrad degree in psychology and a Masters in Leadership, I am currently investigating a PhD in Psychology. So you can see, this is a topic that has become my calling. I am continually struck by the value of the dialogue in Star Trek to bring psychology to us in an entertaining and useful way.

What keeps me watching it now? Here I am 45 years later. Oh. My. God. Has it really been that long? I still like Star Trek. ST explores what it is to be a human being. It creates a positive vision of humanity. It explores what it means to honor and respect another person. The dialogue continues with refreshing clarity different facets of the human condition and cultures, from anxiety to friendship to loneliness to individualism to collectivism “to infinity and beyond” (Oh. Sorry. Wrong movie).

What makes me a geek? Or am I a semi-geek? Or can I make a full claim to being a geek? What are the criteria? I have watched every episode of TOS, TNG, Voyageur, and all the movies, many times over. I raised my son on Star Trek. I have read the autobiography of George Takei (Sulu). I read Dancing Barefoot and Memories of the Future by Wil Wheaton. I follow Wil Wheaton’s blog. I read The Physics of Star Trek. I am reading Gene Roddenberry: The Myth and the Man Behind Star Trek. I read Geek Wisdom: The Sacred Teachings of Nerd Culture (great book by the way). I love all things computer. I love innovation and creativity. I am a rebel. I hate convention and mindless adherence to routine and “that’s the way we’ve always done it”. I am smart. I loved the 70’s. Okay. That makes me an intelligent bohemian, semi-geek, baby boomer hippie. Something like that.

I love geeks. They are highly intelligent, quick, focused, and have a mind for detail. And being someone of youthful and intelligent energy, I am energized by the same. What I also see is, when geeks are challenged, emotionally and psychologically, they have a tendency to distract themselves by burying themselves in computer games and trivia. Because they recognize the absurdity of much of the conventions of society, they may feel like outsiders or underdogs. What do they do with their normal human need to belong? Along with feeling awkward in social settings and relationships. Incredibly bright but perhaps lacking some social skills that allow them to develop and strong social network and enjoyable intimate relationships. It can be difficult. For anyone. This is where I come in. As a geek friend said to me, “You are the corpus callosum for geeks.”

I am here to comment on the psychology of Star Trek for geeks. I highlight the connections in the dialogue of various episodes of TNG to what we know about how to be happier, healthier human beings from the science of psychology, neuropsychology, quantum physics, emotional intelligence, coaching, and philosophy.

We can learn from Star Trek! How cool is that? So, let’s add to our ST geekiness with its useful psychology to enhance our relationships, increase positive emotions and win the day. We will add its distinctiveness to our own. One caveat. I know you like accuracy and trivia and might have scathing opinions about my opinions, but don’t let that be your focus and end up missing the point of this book. And the point is… learning. Learning about psychology, stuff that just might make your life easier. And isn’t that what geeks do best? Learn. I think so.

So let’s go. To boldly go where no geek has gone before… Engage!